Zitat:Dear Colt,

You pushed and pushed. You couldn't just leave it alone. You couldn't just leave me alone.

Thanks to you and the wonderful ROH Video Wire crew, everyone saw what happened in LA. And after seeing it myself, I have decided to put my thoughts into words for you. I spoke out of anger and as I have been told several times in the past several weeks, that's not a good thing.

I wish I could have expressed myself in a more precise manner when we talked but your constant questioning and badgering brought me to a breaking point I had hoped I wouldn’t reach.

I know you have this intense need to understand why I did what I did to “him”. Quite frankly it seems more like it's bordering on an obsession at this point. But that’s not why I am writing this, Colt. As I mentioned during our ''chat", soon enough you will understand my actions from Final Battle quite well.

What I really want to write about is this friendship, this bond between us all that you keep mentioning.

I suppose at a certain point we really were friends, weren't we? I can remember some good, maybe even great times. But Colt, life isn't really measured by positive moments, is it? Nobody remembers good things as well as they remember wars and tragedies. It appears I am the same way. When I look back over our time as friends, the negative drastically outshines the positive.

Ever since I, as you call it, turned my back on our "friend", you have questioned my character.

But I have questions for you too. What kind of friend constantly belittles another?

Before you signed your precious contract, your nickname for me wasn't "Kev" as it has since become. I seem to clearly remember you calling me anything from "fatboy" to "moron" on a daily basis. And I know what you and everyone else will think; I did the same kind of thing to “him”.

Well, there is a big difference there. I was forced into a friendship with “him” from the start. I was pushed into having to travel, wrestle and team with “him” for 6 years. I never asked to be his friend nor did I ever want to be. I was never given a damn choice.

You, however, were. I never asked you to be my friend. It just kind of happened. But I never kidded myself. I always knew we were more "friends by default'' than anything else. You were his buddy and since he couldn't seem to function without having me around, I was always tagging along.

I know you'll deny this so I have another question for you and this is one that has been eating away at me for years.

If we were such good friends, then where were you when your good buddy Punk was screaming at me, trying to humiliate me in front of the entire locker room in Boston a few years ago?

Actually, I remember exactly where you were. You were sitting just a few feet from the whole incident, just looking on, not saying or doing a damn thing. I was just coming into ROH at that point, just hoping for an opportunity, trying not to make any waves and you could have helped me that day.

But you just sat there. And I will never forget that.

But now I have found the help I needed. You see, Steve Corino has been a friend from the very moment we met. He saw something in me and has been trying to help me reach my full potential from the beginning. He was even responsible for helping me go to Japan for the first time with Zero One, which ironically enough, he did for you as well. And look where we are now. Steve and I stand side-by-side climbing the ladder together while you take every chance you get to question our integrity while trying to cheer up your masked charity case.

And now we are two short days away from facing each other in a match. I never wanted it to come to this but it now appears there is no other way. The best part of it all though, is that it’s all going to take place in New York City.

I know you lived one of the greatest moments of your career in New York when you made your ROH return a little under a year ago to one of the loudest, most intense, and thrilling reactions from a crowd that I have ever seen.

And it is ironic considering it was also the stage for one the lowest points of my own career, Ladder War 2. But I don't mean losing the match. Of course I wish we had been victorious that night, and things probably would have ended up very differently if we had been.

What I’m talking about is the New York City crowd turning their backs on me and chanting Eddie Edwards' name, cheering his every move. This is the same man who went at great lengths to injure not only myself but their pathetic masked hero as well, and none of these people seemed to remember that. All they saw was how courageous little Ed-Ed was for fighting with a broken elbow.

Even now as I type this, I feel sick to my stomach remembering what I felt that night as the entire crowd cheered him to victory. With everything he and Richards had done to me and “him”, Eddie Edwards surely deserved to get his arm ripped off, let alone broken.

I should have been the hero. I should have been the one whose name they were all chanting. It should have been me. But it wasn’t.

You know, Colt, the more I think about it, the more conflicted I am about this Saturday.

On one hand, I can't wait to be able to stick it to those pathetic excuses for wrestling fans by destroying one of their most beloved favorites. I can't wait to finally shut you up and give you what you deserve for being such a bad friend to me all these years.

But on the other hand, I still care for you. I never wanted us to fight. But I guess we are past the point of no return now.

Colt, just do me one favor. Just remember one very important thing. When we face each other this Saturday, please know that I don't want to hurt you.

But I will.

I love you.
Kevin

Zitat:“My Voice: Trading Safety for Skin”

We are all machines. Self-sufficient and perfect. Programmed and reprogrammed every second of every day by the behaviors and environments that surround us. God, money, love. We are excellently adapted for survival, for getting by....

Myself included. I am a jaded liar. I am a robotic cadet. I've made excuses for my shortcomings and my mistakes for far too long. And as a result, sometimes when I look a little deeper into the mirror, I wonder if I have become the things I once loathed. Have I bought in? Has the pilot light burnt out? Am I running on fumes? I'm tired of hiding from myself.

Some might say that if I even have to ask myself those questions, then they answer themselves, but I disagree. In life, there are times when we can't just accept what's going on around us and shrug our apathetic shoulders. We can't just point fingers and place blame and give up so easily. Sometimes we can't just pretend everything is alright. The fault does not rest in the hands of timing, nor of circumstance. I have never relied on fate to get me by. Never trusted in a god or a "plan" to keep me motivated. I have always believed in myself; the person, not the machine.

I choose to no longer let them wire me. I choose to open my eyes. I choose to destroy, to rebuild, and to reclaim. And in turn, I'll step out of safety and back into skin. The 8th Anniversary of Ring of Honor will be a rebirth. For me. And for professional wrestling. We will live again.

Zitat:Original von Silk
Ich find diesen Teil so toll.


please know that I don't want to hurt you.

But I will.

I love you.
Kevin

Zitat:Original von Silk
- Szenen von Blacks Siegesfeier

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