20.05.2006, 11:50
Meanwhile, tough guy, a cute vegetarian, a white slut kleptomaniac blonde chick, and the mystery man find another room and enjoy their medicine. Cute vegetarian even shaves her legs before they meet up. Does this hotel have razors in the bathroom or something? Or did she get that from prison? Yes, even the girl who's a member of PETA and a vegetarian when it comes down to it is a slut. Good lesion for the girls going to see this movie (sarcasm on high)! Tough guy smashes around a room and grabs a lead pipe during some destruction, for protection.
The male cop, the psudo lesbian who didn't want to leave because of her potential (Christine) run into the African American locksmith. He tells them about the internet kid getting hauled off by Kane. They walk around the dirty (not fire scorched) hall of one of the floors of the hotel. As the cop is giving a speech Christine, all of the sudden a hook swings down from the ceiling in a perfect throw to "hook" the copper right in the neck and pull him up. Yes, it was a one in the million shot and it worked. Gun shots are fired, but nothing happens. The cop gets gutted (his eyes from his face) and tossed back down. Revenge for Kane.
We hear some odd voices in Kane's head, they are not saying "May 19th" and we see his PSYCHO VISION. We find Kira who is in a small cage. Sadly its not the elimination chamber or the blue steel cage from the 1980s. Kane looks into the cage and shifts back and forth, you see that he is TROUBLED~! You see his evil smile with his bad teeth and his one long finger nail. He bathes Kira, holding her up under a shower to wash her face or to drown her; we see clips of Kane getting a shower as well. He goes for her eyes but keeps on admiring her back ink work and the huge cross. He allows her to live. Good for Kane.
As Kane is leering at Kira, the wholesome veggie girl gives it up to the mystery man. However, there is a trap wire under the bed and a BELL RINGS~! in Kane's evil lab which has several jars of human eyes! Kane appears in the room, being seen as the mystery man (who had the homemade aspirin as they would never search these felons right?) who finds the right time to tell the girl "Hey, this is a two way mirror." They run to another room, lock the door, and find a fire hose. The mystery man wraps the hose around the veggie girl and tries to lower her down the side of the hotel. Of coruse Kane, kills him quickly (we don't see it) and pulls her up, only to hear her cry and shreek, "let me go." The knot around her waste gets loose and she's dangling by her feet, like bungee jumping. Perhaps that was popular when this script was written in 1992. Kane heeds to her words and lets her go. Even through they are on the ninth floor, she appears to fall 10,000 feet thru a lovely skylight, and cuts open her arm bad on the glass of the skylight. Her head hits the floor, and bounces back up a little. She's injured and dangling and a pool of blood is under her. The stray dog she tried to feed before comes to her, and starts drinking her blood pile. Suddenly there are about 7 dogs coming thru the dog hole and start eating her cut arm. The veggie girl gets eaten by the dogs. Isn’t that IRONIC~!
Meanwhile the tough guy/pimp and the white slut kleptomaniac blonde chick are talking after smoking up. “You know when I said before you could do better? I didn’t mean this good!" The pimp got served! The white slut kleptomaniac blonde chick then has one of the better lines of dialogue in the film "I mean DO YOU EVEN HAVE A CAR?" Somehow a cell phone rings and white slut kleptomaniac blonde chick then answers it. Yes, she somehow got a cell into here. "What's up bitch?" Oh, it's her sister. Really! She at least explains she stole the phone off of the female prison guard. KANE attacks again thru the bees, and the pimp uses the LEAD PIPE~! to the back of the head of Kane where he was shot before. You see maggots fall out of the hole in Kane's head. I wonder if you hit the writer of this film in the back of the head with a lead pipe, would sawdust come out. As pimp fights with the monster Kane, the white slut kleptomaniac blonde chick goes into hiding in a fake wall. Kane can't find her, but then… THE CELL PHONE RINGS. Kane goes back, finds her, finds the phone, sees the name on the phone (which is now PROGRAMMED into the phone), and decides to feed the phone to the white slut kleptomaniac blonde chick who chokes to death on it.
Kane goes back to Kira in the cage. You see flashbacks of Kane, as a young shavedhead boy in a very similar cage. You see roach flashbacks, and a trailer. You also see some pictures from the Sears catalog and a busty woman in a bra. You see young naked Kane touching his genitals and a old woman yelling at him making him feel SHAME! Who needed to see this? Can you picture the pitch to Vince? "So we have a scene where a young naked Kane is trembling in a cage while touching himself." Vince: "Fantastic, where's this casting couch I hear so much about?" Freaky, not scary. Meanwhile Christine and the African American locksmith find the secret stash. Which is a room where the safe has been opened and the money is stapled on the walls, and inside the room there are tons of jars of human eyes. The African American locksmith doesn't notice the eyes but notices the MONEY WALLPAPER.
Kane meanwhile is in the next room, leering at Kira and palming himself. Yes, he uses his flat palm to touch himself as she is in the cage. Kane does a good job of being creepy, but the movie is shot to be creepy. In this sense, they are successful in creeping the viewer out. Kane hears glass break and goes into the other room where the African American locksmith is hiding behind the safe. Kane goes to leave but he can now SMELL FEAR on African American locksmith, I guess the white slut kleptomaniac blonde chick was wearing perfume she got in prison to camouflage the scene of fear. African American locksmith attempts to tazer Kane, but Kane grabs his arm and tazers him in the neck. And then smashes the African American locksmith with the safe up against the wall. Christine goes to Kira in the cage, but Kane has the keys to the cage, so she attempts to CUT OPEN the lock with a knife.
Sweet old lady comes back in and wonders why Kira is still alive. Kane comes from behind her as Christine hides. It appears much like the borthers of destruction back in the day, the sweet old lady and Kane are in cahoots! The old lady tells Kira “My son (Kane) is the hand of god” and tells Kane to "Kill this Sinner." You see flashbacks and it in fact his mom yelling at naked masturbating Kane in the cage. Old lady talks about her son being a judge and keeping the soul clean. The plan of bringing the con kids was a setup to get back at the cop who shot Kane in the head. We see the mom try and wash the evil out of Kane's eyes back in the day. "Now, kill this whore. See the evil in her eyes!" We see more black and white clips of Kane in the cage and then a teenage Kane sitting on a chair, trembling, facing a wall as a woman (hooker) is tied up on his bed. Mom sees this and takes out her eye with her hand and tells him “see the evil" with all the conviction of the voice of the Skittles "taste the rainbow" commercials.
Finally Kane says his first word in the film. "NO!" Kane rebels, throws his mom into the wall, which somehow has metal spikes hanging out of it. Her head is impaled on a spike. Kane grabs the girl saying "I see it" for no reason (yes, four words in total in this movie) and goes into another room. Christine grabs the cops gun (still on the table) and goes into another room. Somehow Kane has a 1994 modern cd boom box with a kids song from earlier on in the film is playing. Kane is sitting up on the bed in a bubba-ray Dudley orgasmic trance, holding Kira. The other girl comes close to Kane and points the gun at Kanes eye. She goes to shoot; there are no bullets in the gun. Kane wakes up from his trance, angry.
Kane has both girls up from the chokeslam. Pipe guy comes back and hits Kane again, he also uses Kane's ax on his leg. They go into another room, get him by the window, and use the lead pipe and a wooden chair to get him out of the window. He hands onto the ledge grabbing Christine's arm but they push him off, by jamming the pipe square into his eye as he fell down 9 floors (or 10,000 feet) with the pipe in his eye. He hits the side of the building, which is reminiscent of Homer Simpson falling down Springfield gorge with a Luke Skywalker like cowardly shriek. Tons of huge laughs for his death. Kane’s head hits the greenhouse roof but the pipe is trapped. Kane's head detaches from the pipe and he hits the ground which also, believe it or not has spikes on the floor as well. What another odd place for spikes. We get a shot of the inside of his body as it fails him. Kane is dead. The hungry dogs are no where to be found to eat his corpse, which would be more meat then the veggie girl. Kira sees all of this and spits out of the window. The girls in the lobby ask Pimp-tough guy why he came back “I didn’t’ want to walk out of here alone.” As the credits roll, you see the stray dog again coming back pissing in Kane's eye socket. End of film.
Overall, not the worst movie I have ever seen, but a poor start to the WWE Film franchise. The script is cliché, the acting is dreadful, and the Kane masturbating is just troubling. Kane is not a great actor in this movie, as he's done many things in the ring I have enjoyed (the Lita angle stuff was quite good). I don't know who the director was appealing to with this film. It wasn't wrestling fans, maybe fans of horror movies, but a lot of this wasn't scary or horrorful, it was just horrid. A movie where Kane has taken the eyes away from his victims and still lets them live to fight him or kill each other could have been an interesting movie. This is just a cookie cutter movie written by WWE writer Dan Madigan. At 70 minutes it thankfully runs quickly, but after leaving See No Evil, I wonder how many developmental guys were cut to make this and how much the WWE could lose by doing more movies. If they attempted to make Kane a star by this movie, they failed, as he is a character in this movie, but the smaller kid playing young Kane in the cage showed more emotion. Best not to See No Evil.
The male cop, the psudo lesbian who didn't want to leave because of her potential (Christine) run into the African American locksmith. He tells them about the internet kid getting hauled off by Kane. They walk around the dirty (not fire scorched) hall of one of the floors of the hotel. As the cop is giving a speech Christine, all of the sudden a hook swings down from the ceiling in a perfect throw to "hook" the copper right in the neck and pull him up. Yes, it was a one in the million shot and it worked. Gun shots are fired, but nothing happens. The cop gets gutted (his eyes from his face) and tossed back down. Revenge for Kane.
We hear some odd voices in Kane's head, they are not saying "May 19th" and we see his PSYCHO VISION. We find Kira who is in a small cage. Sadly its not the elimination chamber or the blue steel cage from the 1980s. Kane looks into the cage and shifts back and forth, you see that he is TROUBLED~! You see his evil smile with his bad teeth and his one long finger nail. He bathes Kira, holding her up under a shower to wash her face or to drown her; we see clips of Kane getting a shower as well. He goes for her eyes but keeps on admiring her back ink work and the huge cross. He allows her to live. Good for Kane.
As Kane is leering at Kira, the wholesome veggie girl gives it up to the mystery man. However, there is a trap wire under the bed and a BELL RINGS~! in Kane's evil lab which has several jars of human eyes! Kane appears in the room, being seen as the mystery man (who had the homemade aspirin as they would never search these felons right?) who finds the right time to tell the girl "Hey, this is a two way mirror." They run to another room, lock the door, and find a fire hose. The mystery man wraps the hose around the veggie girl and tries to lower her down the side of the hotel. Of coruse Kane, kills him quickly (we don't see it) and pulls her up, only to hear her cry and shreek, "let me go." The knot around her waste gets loose and she's dangling by her feet, like bungee jumping. Perhaps that was popular when this script was written in 1992. Kane heeds to her words and lets her go. Even through they are on the ninth floor, she appears to fall 10,000 feet thru a lovely skylight, and cuts open her arm bad on the glass of the skylight. Her head hits the floor, and bounces back up a little. She's injured and dangling and a pool of blood is under her. The stray dog she tried to feed before comes to her, and starts drinking her blood pile. Suddenly there are about 7 dogs coming thru the dog hole and start eating her cut arm. The veggie girl gets eaten by the dogs. Isn’t that IRONIC~!
Meanwhile the tough guy/pimp and the white slut kleptomaniac blonde chick are talking after smoking up. “You know when I said before you could do better? I didn’t mean this good!" The pimp got served! The white slut kleptomaniac blonde chick then has one of the better lines of dialogue in the film "I mean DO YOU EVEN HAVE A CAR?" Somehow a cell phone rings and white slut kleptomaniac blonde chick then answers it. Yes, she somehow got a cell into here. "What's up bitch?" Oh, it's her sister. Really! She at least explains she stole the phone off of the female prison guard. KANE attacks again thru the bees, and the pimp uses the LEAD PIPE~! to the back of the head of Kane where he was shot before. You see maggots fall out of the hole in Kane's head. I wonder if you hit the writer of this film in the back of the head with a lead pipe, would sawdust come out. As pimp fights with the monster Kane, the white slut kleptomaniac blonde chick goes into hiding in a fake wall. Kane can't find her, but then… THE CELL PHONE RINGS. Kane goes back, finds her, finds the phone, sees the name on the phone (which is now PROGRAMMED into the phone), and decides to feed the phone to the white slut kleptomaniac blonde chick who chokes to death on it.
Kane goes back to Kira in the cage. You see flashbacks of Kane, as a young shavedhead boy in a very similar cage. You see roach flashbacks, and a trailer. You also see some pictures from the Sears catalog and a busty woman in a bra. You see young naked Kane touching his genitals and a old woman yelling at him making him feel SHAME! Who needed to see this? Can you picture the pitch to Vince? "So we have a scene where a young naked Kane is trembling in a cage while touching himself." Vince: "Fantastic, where's this casting couch I hear so much about?" Freaky, not scary. Meanwhile Christine and the African American locksmith find the secret stash. Which is a room where the safe has been opened and the money is stapled on the walls, and inside the room there are tons of jars of human eyes. The African American locksmith doesn't notice the eyes but notices the MONEY WALLPAPER.
Kane meanwhile is in the next room, leering at Kira and palming himself. Yes, he uses his flat palm to touch himself as she is in the cage. Kane does a good job of being creepy, but the movie is shot to be creepy. In this sense, they are successful in creeping the viewer out. Kane hears glass break and goes into the other room where the African American locksmith is hiding behind the safe. Kane goes to leave but he can now SMELL FEAR on African American locksmith, I guess the white slut kleptomaniac blonde chick was wearing perfume she got in prison to camouflage the scene of fear. African American locksmith attempts to tazer Kane, but Kane grabs his arm and tazers him in the neck. And then smashes the African American locksmith with the safe up against the wall. Christine goes to Kira in the cage, but Kane has the keys to the cage, so she attempts to CUT OPEN the lock with a knife.
Sweet old lady comes back in and wonders why Kira is still alive. Kane comes from behind her as Christine hides. It appears much like the borthers of destruction back in the day, the sweet old lady and Kane are in cahoots! The old lady tells Kira “My son (Kane) is the hand of god” and tells Kane to "Kill this Sinner." You see flashbacks and it in fact his mom yelling at naked masturbating Kane in the cage. Old lady talks about her son being a judge and keeping the soul clean. The plan of bringing the con kids was a setup to get back at the cop who shot Kane in the head. We see the mom try and wash the evil out of Kane's eyes back in the day. "Now, kill this whore. See the evil in her eyes!" We see more black and white clips of Kane in the cage and then a teenage Kane sitting on a chair, trembling, facing a wall as a woman (hooker) is tied up on his bed. Mom sees this and takes out her eye with her hand and tells him “see the evil" with all the conviction of the voice of the Skittles "taste the rainbow" commercials.
Finally Kane says his first word in the film. "NO!" Kane rebels, throws his mom into the wall, which somehow has metal spikes hanging out of it. Her head is impaled on a spike. Kane grabs the girl saying "I see it" for no reason (yes, four words in total in this movie) and goes into another room. Christine grabs the cops gun (still on the table) and goes into another room. Somehow Kane has a 1994 modern cd boom box with a kids song from earlier on in the film is playing. Kane is sitting up on the bed in a bubba-ray Dudley orgasmic trance, holding Kira. The other girl comes close to Kane and points the gun at Kanes eye. She goes to shoot; there are no bullets in the gun. Kane wakes up from his trance, angry.
Kane has both girls up from the chokeslam. Pipe guy comes back and hits Kane again, he also uses Kane's ax on his leg. They go into another room, get him by the window, and use the lead pipe and a wooden chair to get him out of the window. He hands onto the ledge grabbing Christine's arm but they push him off, by jamming the pipe square into his eye as he fell down 9 floors (or 10,000 feet) with the pipe in his eye. He hits the side of the building, which is reminiscent of Homer Simpson falling down Springfield gorge with a Luke Skywalker like cowardly shriek. Tons of huge laughs for his death. Kane’s head hits the greenhouse roof but the pipe is trapped. Kane's head detaches from the pipe and he hits the ground which also, believe it or not has spikes on the floor as well. What another odd place for spikes. We get a shot of the inside of his body as it fails him. Kane is dead. The hungry dogs are no where to be found to eat his corpse, which would be more meat then the veggie girl. Kira sees all of this and spits out of the window. The girls in the lobby ask Pimp-tough guy why he came back “I didn’t’ want to walk out of here alone.” As the credits roll, you see the stray dog again coming back pissing in Kane's eye socket. End of film.
Overall, not the worst movie I have ever seen, but a poor start to the WWE Film franchise. The script is cliché, the acting is dreadful, and the Kane masturbating is just troubling. Kane is not a great actor in this movie, as he's done many things in the ring I have enjoyed (the Lita angle stuff was quite good). I don't know who the director was appealing to with this film. It wasn't wrestling fans, maybe fans of horror movies, but a lot of this wasn't scary or horrorful, it was just horrid. A movie where Kane has taken the eyes away from his victims and still lets them live to fight him or kill each other could have been an interesting movie. This is just a cookie cutter movie written by WWE writer Dan Madigan. At 70 minutes it thankfully runs quickly, but after leaving See No Evil, I wonder how many developmental guys were cut to make this and how much the WWE could lose by doing more movies. If they attempted to make Kane a star by this movie, they failed, as he is a character in this movie, but the smaller kid playing young Kane in the cage showed more emotion. Best not to See No Evil.