CHIKARA Season 9 Thread

[Silk]

Sugar Dunkerton - 13. April 2010

"A THING OF BEAUTY IS A JOY FO'EVA~!" - Jon Keates

Well, without all the slickness on the "forever," but you dig what I'm sayin'. And what a beautiful thing it will be April 23rd - 25th, marking my first appearance at the spectacle that is King of Trios! Unfortunately, they've yet to produce the reel-to-reel version of the past events (DVDs are just shiny coasters to me;) but you gotta be living under a pretty big rock not to respect the gravity of this tournament. Not to be boastful, but your boy is a natural at team sports ALREADY, so any tournament rooted in setting picks and teamwork is a good look.

And much like the atrociously out-of-sight Showtime Lakers of old, I've got a squad with phasers set to STUNT. I got "The Old Standard" Dasher Hatfield, with more swings than your local playground. You think he ain't ready? Check his pedigree, cause he's always a base away from greatness. With skills like his, how can you doubt that?

How could we forget Matt "You Already Know It's A" Classic? This cat practically invented the sport of pro-wrestling. I've seen the patent, trust me. How you gonna 450 your way out of an Airplane Spin? Or hit a Tiger Driver while trapped in the dreaded Claw-hold?! The man has forgotten more about wrestling (and kneepads) than some will ever absorb. And if you THINK he'll be out of practice; ask Pinkie Sanchez and Tim Donst if he ain't the truth!

Seems like we're missing somebody...ooooh yeah.

"Black Swagger."

"The Backcourt Bandit."

"Slam McNasty."

"The Chocolate Ice Cream Dream."

Sugar Dunkerton.

I play to win. I cross-up all challenges and jam it in no matter how high the goal. Call me Starbucks! Cause I'm hot, black, and fresh! I LIVE for moments like these.

The stakes are so high that 3 lives can change forever. I don't care what nationality, species, or background you represent. Hallowicked, Claudio -

-Gets handed a telegram with the names of their first round opponents-

Thanks for breaking the flow of my blog, man.

[Bild: http://www.chikarapro.com/images/BackcourtBandit.jpg]

So it comes to my attention, RUDELY -looks off-screen- that we are set to face off against F.I.S.T. in full force. History class is in session and Mr. Dunkerton is your professor. Dash and I have battled F.I.S.T. twice in the past, and twice have they been left holding an L while we walk away with the W. Aren't you guys s'pposed to be unstoppable? Unbeatable? At least that's all that noise you was talkin' before those matches (of course.)

Now we meet in a different style of battle, 3-on-3, and CHIKARA done served up your Kryptonite. I highly expect you to know the amount of ring lights that need fixing in the arena after that 3-second tan ya'll are set to experience. I'll give you guys this...we've never faced ya'll in full force. To deny how dangerous you guys are would be beyond silly. I imagine you'll pull out every trick in your playbook to hold on to your unstoppable aura as a trio. This just in: we don't want to stop you.

We wanna shut you down.

Immortality awaits the winners, and what better way to prove that old school still rules than by seizing victory at King of Trios 2010.

Victory and the fountain of youth will be one in the same for three nights...and our squad is dying of thirst.


Respect the architects. POW.
SD